moving van

So I drove the moving van to mom's house. The good news.... Stacy is going to drive it to Tx. It was a bear to drive and I knew the whole way all three of us would be crunched. I will be driving Mom's car to TX with Tonie, Alisa will be with Stacy.

The house is all done and everything is in the moving van. We also cleanned so its all done.

Tonie really wants to celebrate her birthday with family so we are doing a small dinner for her. Then we will leave for TX tomorrow, Thursday. We should be in TX on Saturday if not late Friday night.

Moving again.... never thought.

Monday, Monday... again

Can't believe it's Monday again. I was just posting about Monday....

Packed up Mom's house yesterday and today, and, I have to say she was one of the most organized persons. She had so much stuff... whole lot of stuff.... and in sure didn't seem like it when we started. I also found some really cool stuff. She kept some papers from her marriage to my father that ended in the early 70's.

We basically just packed up everything and will sort in TX in a month or so. I can tell you that there is a quite a bit of furniture that I am getting. We are deffinately going to have to increase the sq footage of our house!

Off to bed. I gotta get up early in the morning to pick up the moving truck. The girls and I will be driving back to TX in said moving van this week. (Wish me luck!)

Yeah.....

So Mom passed away Christmas Eve Morning. She went into hospice on Tuesday afternoon. I spent the night next to her and in the morning she was gone. The good news is that all her family was surrounding her laughing about shared memories of her.

I am doing okay. Lots of family all around. Today is my aunt's (Mom's sister) birthday. Again, lots of family. I am doing okay for now. I think when I get back to my regular schedule things will be different.

Christmas was good. Again - family. Kids had a good time.
The girls are doing good. I think because they were not really close to Mom it doesnt affect them as much.

Well thats all for now. Thank you for all your warm thoughts and prayers.

Monday, Monday

I am in Ohio. Actually at the hospital with mom. She is doing okay right now. She is aware and able to carry on a conversation for a few minutes. She is dealing with quite abit of pain due to the cancer spreading to her bones. We are going to look in to hospice if she hangs on this week. She doesnt seem to want to hang around but as we all know there is no time table. Thank you to all who helped yesterday. I am forever grateful.

Will update more later... she is awake for now.

As for me....

I am doing okay. It’s harder than I thought it would be. After the summer I had, I got it my head that everything would be okay as soon as I got to Texas. Well, big surprise, it wasn’t. Mom’s still sick, Stacy’s still in VA, money is still a problem, we’re still a in packing mess.
But God is great and is watching over us. The kids are happy – worth it all!!! We were blessed with the house we found, and more so blessed with the community we landed in.
I have made many friends as well. There is one, Lisa, who stays at home and we do a lot together. From breakfast, to just going to grocery store together, to running to Midland. It has helped with my sense of loss. Loss of the known, loss of my gel family at my side, loss of the church that I love so dear… etc…
Now if I could just get Stacy here…. He is on his way it’s just taking way longer than we thought.

What its like...

It has been a long three weeks since we moved into our new abode. The house is old but has lots of charm. There are lights everywhere and built in shelves as well. 3 bathrooms too which is a big help with 3 females in the house! It also has a huge yard that WILL soon contain a fenced in area for the dogs.
It is smack dab in the middle of town and just a block from the jr/sr high school. The town consists of about 200 residents. There is no 7-11, grocery store, etc. There is, however, a pay –n-pump gas place. It is basically a gas pump on the side of the road that only takes credit cards. Too fun! Oh and everyone gets a free P.O. box because no mail is delivered in town. LOL!
The girls come home from school and depending on homework are soon out the door to play outside with friends. Sometimes they go to the high school football field (north side of town) and sometimes they go to the dirt pile (south 4 blocks). The big thing is they are free to wander where ever. I LOVE that! They can finally be kids. And of course there are friends all over. Tonie has 4 different girls that she plays with here instead of just one(and that was if she was lucky). Alisa has taken over her phone and is texting everyone. She has several girls she hangs with as well.

Okay so its been a while....

Unpacking is no fun!!!!

Unpacking without a husband is even worse!!!

Unpacking has kept me really busy... and the fact that I have a limited internet.
The good news is that I have a friend who has a network allready set up and has invited me over to hook up to hers.
So the plan is to write my posts then come over to the friends house and then uplink.... I dont want to hear it! I will follow thru I will!!!!!!

it will be a while.....

So we, the girls and I, are moving into a rental house this week. I will take pictures and post later. Dont know when I will get to the internet again but as soon as I do I will be sure to post an update.
The house if cute. My only problem is the kitchen is TINY!!! It has two bedrooms and two bathrooms in the main part of the house and then there is an attached building that has a bedroom and bathroom. Dont know exactly how we are going to work all that out but it will be okay.
I have found myself with a serious need to nest. I dream of arranging furniture, doing laundry, baking homemade cookies.... Go figure! Doubt that it will last long thou. I wonder where that comes from?
Anyway - wish me luck in my move.

Virginia

So here’s the deal. When Stacy and I decided I would come back to VA we both agreed that we would not tell anyone and I could just surprise everyone with my wonderful presence. (You can stop laughing now.) Well, you know the best laid plans never work and I ended up missing the party that I planned to “surprise” everyone at. The worst part? I haven’t had a chance to see any of my friends. I really wanted a day to hang out but we have been running and running like there is no tomorrow.
We did manage to tear up some carpet at the house and pack a few more loose-end boxes. We have Stacy out on terminal leave, paperwork submitted to V.A., paperwork for tricare… Basically all the stuff military people normally do every couple of years but we never did in our 17 years together in the Navy because we never transferred. After packing up 17 years worth of “stuff” can’t decide if that is a good thing or not.
I still don’t know when I am leaving. Plans keep changing every day. Initially I was supposed to be gone by this past Tuesday but obviously that didn’t happen.
I just take a deep breath and know that I can’t control everything.

Hate it but her we go...

I don't like pictures of myself... to critical I guess. This is one I took and framed for one of the girls.

Waiting on... um....

So I am sitting here waiting for Mom to have Chemo. It truly is a strange thing. First they bring her into a room and ask her the exact same questions they ask last week (I know! They need to know each time!), about what medicines and when she took them (exact time!), appetite, bowel movements, fatigue, swelling, falls, sores, nausea. I can see the … not necessarily embarrassment but invasion of privacy showing on Mom’s face. Then they have to put in an IV. Well not only is Mom’s arm black and blue from the many pokes over the last month but her skin is also very thin from the Chemo. Her veins which were always awesome, now roll and blow at a moment’s notice. Luckily she has a high tolerance for pain and she just keeps talking while they poke and re-poke, never batting an eye. This takes about 40 minutes.
Next, we wait for the blood work (that was drawn went the IV was first put in) to return to make sure she can have Chemo. That takes about 30 – 45 minutes. When she is okay-ed for chemo they send the order in to the onsite pharmacy to mix it. This takes about 1 hour but they are able to do the hydration at the same time so that parts not too bad. The hydration (thru the I.V.) takes an hour as well.
The actual chemotherapy for today only takes 30 minutes. Now last Thursday it was 3 hours but today only 30 minutes.
Amazing what steps are needed to have 30 minutes of chemo.Mom has been very lucky in the fact that she has very little side effects from the chemo. She usually is just tired after the small dose (today). After the long one she has nausea and fatigue for a couple of days but that is it. And, this is the 4th treatment and she still has her hair.
Hair is a good thing.

Still Going....

It seems so surreal to be here in Ohio with Stacy in VA and my girls in TX. The Muñoz Family is spread all over the U.S.

The girls are struggling with it all. If you feel like calling I am sure they would love to hear familiar voices. They don’t talk long and don’t have much to say but it would still mean the world to them. If you are interested text me or call and I will pass along the appropriate number(s).

Mom is doing well. She had a dr. appointment today and we found out that a lot of the struggles she has, have the potential to go away in a week or two.

I am tired. Not getting enough sleep so I am also kinda brain dead. Will blog more later.

World is tilted....

So I am here at Moms. She is doing okay. No pain just weakness. She is fine as long as she is sitting but when she gets up and moves around she becomes exhausted.
Mom has always been the type of person that does everything herself. She does not ask or wait for it to be done for her. Until now that is. She has not lifted a finger when I cook or clean up from meals. It has been several weeks since I have cooked so I am actually enjoying myself but it is still a little disconcerting.
The other thing that is weird is that I am up before she is. I just dont know what to do with myself. She was probably up in the middle of the night and that is why she is sleeping now but it is still very unusual.

The girls are doing okay. Tonie is very verbal about how she feels. Alisa does not acknowledge it. Amazing what opposites they are. Stacy and I often comment about how one is like him and the other is like me... Does that mean Stacy and I are that different from each other? It doesn't seam so to me because I feel so connected to him. You know the normal marriage stuff where you know what the other is thinking or going to say kind of thing. But there is more too. Even thousands of miles away I can pick up the phone to call him and he is calling me. Or I will go thru this thought process and come to a conclusion that I think is way off from where I started only to discuss it with Stacy and he is right there with me.
If I use this logic with the girls then I guess I can not worry so much about their bickering and nitpicking with each other. Then again I am a Mom and I don't think I could let that go.

Flying Sucks!!!!

Flew to Ohio Friday. What a pain. Not only the usual crud that goes with flying but it was also a holiday so the planes were packed.

Started with the very first plane where I was stuck in the middle. One of the engines sensors went off because of overheating so we pulled back into the gate for 45 minutes. We, of course, were not allowed off the plane. Got to Houston and that was delayed because they had overbooked and were trying to bargin with people to give up seats. We also sat on the runway awaiting our turn for 40 minutes.
I sat next to a really great guy who went on and on about how to use the system, about his job as a loan officer and how he doesnt care about anyones sob stories, about how rich he is, about how he is a God fearing man, about how he is tired of homeless, wellfare and all the rest sucking up good air. I am assuming he is more worthy of "good air" than all us regular folk. I tried to play oppossom but he just turned to the next person and kept going.
Then we get to Nashville and we are so late that they are holding planes. Yep. Mine was one of them. I sprinted to the next packed flight only to be glared at by passengers. That flight I found out that doctors are paid to go sit in hospitals with approching hurricanes. This lady's brother was getting paid $11,000.00 to be there Friday pm to Sunday am.
Got to Ohio only 30 minutes late and I had all my luggage so its not all bad.

Now I just need a day for the headache, stomachache, and other unmentionable ailments to go away.

Cactus and sticker bushes

We went and looked at some property before Stacy left.

The property is 16 acres. There is a gutted house that has a great frame to start our dream house with. There is also a trailer on the property but we are going to do away with that and get a small modular house to live in while Stacy builds the dream house. The fun part will be trying to create a yard. All that is there now is dirt, rocks, cacti and sticker bushes. I will have trees and grass... even if only a small area.

We're Here!!!

We finally made it. Don't know how we would have done it without our wonderful Gel Group. They pretty much stepped in and took over and got us packed and loaded on the truck. I think both Stacy and I were pretending to be ostriches with our head in the sand kind of thing.

So we are here in Texas.

MMMM…..

With everything that was happening I pretty much decided that everything was going to get better when we finally got here. Of course it didn’t magically turn out sunshine and rainbows…. Mom is still sick, house still needs to be fixed, we still need to find a place to stay, Stacy is still retiring at the end of September so he is still thousands of miles away.

I woke up the other day and kinda had this “oh crap!” moment (just for you Mary!). When I realized that my life did not settle or fix itself and that I just had to deal with the stuff that has been happening. You know, that is never fun. I cried, I prayed, I shopped – well wishful shopping anyway. You know, when you go into a store and put a whole bunch of things in your cart and then after an hour of wandering you go back and put things back where you got them. I then did the smart thing and started writing down all the things that were bothering me. It’s amazing how little they become when you look at them a different way.